Stella McCartney in Stella McCartney

Do you remember your elementary school diorama project where you cut a hole in a box and dropped in figurines? This is like that, but with a nice pair of legs in place of the figurines. The oddly bulky top doesn’t help either, and as gorgeous as a lot of the attendees looked in Stella McCartney, we’re really not sure about the designer’s own fashion diorama.

Carolyn Murphy in Tom Ford

Granted, it’s the Costume Institue Gala, but this purple ensemble would be more at home on a theater stage or the costume rack for Burlesque. Tom Ford is pretty much the best accessory anyone could have, but between the weird tassel neckpiece and our feeling that Carolyn Murphy is making a silent prayer not to have a wardrobe malfunction – that strap is clinging for dear life – this really should have been left in a wardrobe trailer.

Frieda Pinto in Chanel

Everyone in fashion loves Karl Lagerfeld, but this is an homage too far.

Christina Hendricks in Carolina Herrera

Sigh. Christina Hendricks is absolutely gorgeous, this giant rust stain is absolutely not. We’re going to imagine Christina Hendricks in the nude for completely sartorial reasons.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in Burberry

We know Duchess Catherine has kicked off a bit of a trend with sleeves, but we just can’t with these extra shiny, slouchy gauntlet/arm warmer combos.

Kristin Stewart in Proenza Schouler

At an event celebrating a designer who was known for his skill in tailoring, we just can’t get over these frumpty dump dresses, and this one is no exception.

Julianna Margulies in Narciso Rodriguez

Since we’ve established by now that we’re not feeling the baggy bodices, we’ll continue directly to the side cutouts. If there’s anything that can make a designer gown look like a prom dress you’ll be embarrassed to be seen in 10 years down the road, it’s side cutouts. They’re so miss or miss (really, the hits can probably be tallied on one hand, with a few fingers remaining), and particularly so on this dress. Again, gorgeous woman, who should not have been subjected to this ruffled baggy crop top monstrosity.

Serena Williams in feathers & Demi Moore in Prabal Gurung

Dear Ms. Williams and Ms. Moore, the event you’re looking for was across the Atlantic, and it ended a few days ago.

Wardrobe malfunction? Don't worry, it's only an illusion

Roger Federer and Serena Williams in turquoise Nike outfits

The brighter the better seems to be the mantra for the top seeds at the Paris-based tournament this year: both Roger Federer and Serena Williams have turquoise-based outfits that are sponsored by Nike. Looks like Pantone was on the money about turquoise as this year’s ‘”it” color. Rafael Nadal has the same look, but with lime green and an even brighter shade of blue in there, too, creating an irregular geometric pattern. And why not be bold? He owns Roland Garros, having won four years in a row – he can wear whatever he wants!

Venus Williams however, is for once receiving the bulk of headlines for her Grand Slam outfit rather than her little sister (who has previously stolen style headlines in a catsuit-esque outfit). Her French Open outfit, designed by her own EleVen label, looked like something from the Moulin Rouge with corset styling in a black lace fabric with red detailing. She said she wanted to create a sense of illusion with her outfit. “It’s about kind of having that illusion of wearing lace and not having anything take away under it. These days I have a lot of fun with my designs,” she said. {Down the Line!} The illusion was definitely one that required a double take, as her flesh colored shorts probably left many viewers thinking they’d gotten more than an eyeful as the underwear inspired ensemble drew attention for more than her game winning serves.

There’s no correlation between winning and being the more stylish opponent in a match, but it is worth noting that Venus, Serena and Roger have won each of their respective opening tournaments so it can’t hurt.

After Roland Garros comes Wimbledon for these players, where only white is allowed to be worn. We can’t blame them for serving up those crazy colors before the more conservative style requirements come into play!

Images via GoToTennis